Harry Potter and the Ridiculous Death Toll

Hmmm...how do I write about this book without giving away all of the sad and great moments. I give them away, since the people who read this blog have already read the book - mostly.
Lupin and Tonks? That seemed too cruel and stupid especially since Rowling didn't deem them worthy enough of their own death scenes. Lupin should have been given a better literary burial than Harry simply seeing him dead on the Great Hall floor.
Lupin, I hope that "bitch" Bellatrix didn't get you and I hope you gave that ass Greyback a run for his fresh meat. Thanks for watching out for Harry and Teddy snogs some girl when he's 18. Just so you know.
Tonks, why the hell didn't you stay with your mother and Teddy? That was bad form, I hope you learned a lesson.
Dobby, my dear friend and free house elf - to you I say a sad farewell. I couldn't stand in you in The Chamber of Secrets, but grew to love you in the subsequent books. You were brave, loyal, and the best of all of the magical creatures.
Snape, I knew you were good and loved Lily. Shame on you for not declaring it to her and instead calling her a "mudblood." Why the hell didn't you defend yourself against LV? Rowling really fouled up your death. Sorry - you deserved better.
Mad-eye, you died the way you would have wanted to, but it hurt me nonetheless. I hope you haunt Umbridge for the rest of her "life." Damn her for taking your eye.
Fred, you died laughing. I suppose this is how it should be, but you should come back as a ghost and help Peeves wreak havoc for Filch. Also, George will miss you, find a way to come back and at least bring the spirit back to general tomfoolery in the wizarding world.
Hedwig, at least you're not a gold fish and won't be flushed down the toilet. I wish you many mail carrying days of bliss in the magical afterlife.

Farewell Dinner Almost Without the Guest of Honor

So...P finally showed up for her farewell dinner before she left for France for the summer (jealous beyond measure). We are collectively known as the "The Four Whores of the Apocalypse" with a fifth one in training - not one of mine, but almost as cute as mine.
We stole "Four Whores" from a flash fiction piece titled "All Girl Band." There are four of us and we were all in the same Creative Writing Fiction class together, so the moniker fit perfectly, except for the "whore" part...it's a euphemism for something. I'm not sure what.

Shit Happens and then You Clean it Up!

So, I have a lot of dog shit in my backyard. I also have a lot of children's paraphernalia (cute shit) all over my family room. Sometime around midnight tonight I will begin cleaning it up: backyard light on, dogs trying to sniff my lower naughty bits, me attempting to hold the pooper-scooper and fend off the dogs at the same time. It should be thrilling, especially with a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call via annoying cell phone alarm.
I'll make my beautiful kids clean their cute shit up before midnight - it's summer, so probably not that much before midnight.
I'll get to the sticky stuff on my kitchen floor (left over from 4th of July celebrations) sometime next week - I'll have to pencil it in next to getting more than 4 hours of sleep on a weekday.
Shit happens and then you clean it up, or ignore it until you become so embarrassed by it that you're forced into action.